Shiny and Perfect

I don’t know about you, but this rainy, cloudy, cold weather the last few weeks has really got me down. This dreary weather has greatly impacted my mood and I just feel off. The brief glimpse of the sun yesterday gave me hope that better days are near, and it feels appropriate to share this latest post today as we all patiently wait for the sun to come back out and shine.

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It’s so easy to fall into a routine of only showing the shiny perfect things from our lives.  Whether it’s the pictures we post or the stories we tell, these pretty displays can often distract from our real struggles. I know that this is how my social media feeds (and blog) would be perceived. I post a lot about the good, I try to bring in the real, but I don’t touch the dark or dull.  These areas are never discussed because they are messy.

The older I get, the more I realize that everyone has their own shit, their own dark place where they’d rather not be. Places in their mind that feel vulnerable, shameful, guilty, painful, sad or just plain heavy. For many of us, we are fortunate to no longer dwell in these spaces, but they are always there with us just waiting for a certain song or a season to spark a memory and it all comes rushing back.

I have learned a lot about myself from my own dark places, but the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that I refuse to let any darkness define me. Instead, I use this energy to transform into something new. Finding a way to better myself not because of these experiences, but in spite of them. To collect my shattered pieces and assemble them into the person that I want to be; someone who is real and whole.

I absolutely love the bravery that comes from people who choose to discuss their messy times. These conversations break down walls, and they make others feel less alone. I am not that brave person today, but just know that you are not alone. The rain has fallen heavy on me just as it has you, but that rain falling down is what has brought me to this very day. And today is a good day.

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I feel compelled to make the following remarks on this post because I recognize that it seems maybe a little out of my norm.  First, it’s something that I’ve wanted to write for a while, but couldn’t find the right words. Second (and most important of all), I am okay and my family is okay.  We are actually way more than okay, but as I noted…everyone has (or has had) their own messy dark places.  I have found that if you are experiencing these dark times, find a trusted person to talk too.  While we like to think we can solve our own problems…in many cases we can’t.

Finally, I like to believe that good can always come from our challenges, and I urge you to use these challenges as a way to transform yourself. If I have learned one thing, it’s that you can only control your own actions, emotions and beliefs and that ultimately you control how you respond to every situation. When you are finally able to let go, you are creating space for better things to come in…and just remember there is no shame in asking for help. 

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